Saturday, May 31, 2008

Adam & Eve



Maggie Laurencell and Eric Anderson as Adam and Eve (directed by David Thorpe, produced by New Play Project, Provo, UT)



The Critics And Provo, UT Bloggers Are Raving! Read 'em and weep with joy:

Gideon Burton

Association for Mormon Letters (Reviewed by Nan McCulloch)

Blog: Kazzy's Ponderings

Blog: Marian Dashwood

KBYUFM


“Adam and Eve”
by Davey Morrison


(The stage is empty—bathed in the yellow-blue warmth of sunrise—except for a single short tree stump Center Stage.

As the lights come up, EVE enters, holding a bright
red apple, and sits.

A few moments later, ADAM enters from Stage Right, scratching his rib. He looks at EVE and then Doesn’t Look At EVE. He saunters across the stage, checking every few seconds to see if she’s noticed him yet—she hasn’t—and then wanders over behind her tree stump.)

ADAM
Oh, hey! I didn’t know you were here. I hope I’m not interrupting or anything.

EVE
You are.

ADAM
Oh.
(Silence. He fidgets.)
So… How you doing?

EVE
Considering we just got kicked out of Paradise? Not bad. Been better. It was almost worth it. The apple’s good.

ADAM
You bring any more of those?

EVE
Yep.

(He waits for her to offer him one. She doesn’t.)

ADAM
Mind if I have a seat?

EVE
Go ahead.

(ADAM sits on the ground and looks around, trying to find something to say next.)

ADAM
Yeah, so about that whole be fruitful and multiply thing…

EVE
Adam.

ADAM
Hey, I’m just saying.

EVE
We fell from innocence a half hour ago.

ADAM
OK, I was just trying to make conversation. Forget it.

(Silence.)

ADAM
You want to talk?

EVE
No, I don’t want to talk.

ADAM
You OK?

EVE
I’m fine.

ADAM
You don’t sound fine.

EVE
Then why did you ask me if I was fine? If you’re not going to believe what I tell you then why are you asking?

ADAM
I don’t know, I’m sorry.

EVE
I’m just upset.

ADAM
Yeah.

(He reaches over and holds her hand. She looks at it, baffled.)

EVE
What are you doing?

ADAM
I’m holding your hand.

EVE
Why?

ADAM
I don’t know. It seemed like a good thing to do.

EVE
It’s weird. Stop it.

ADAM
OK.

(He does. Silence.)

EVE
How would you like it if I held your kneecap or something? Would that make you feel better?

(He thinks about it.)

ADAM
It might.

(She doesn’t look at him. Another silence.)

ADAM
What’s wrong?

EVE
Nothing’s wrong.

ADAM
Something’s wrong, what is it?

EVE
I told you, I’m just upset. I don’t know why. Sometimes this happens to me, I don’t really get it.

ADAM
You get upset and you don’t know why?

EVE
Yeah.

ADAM
That’s messed up.

EVE
Thanks.

ADAM
No, I mean, you have to know why, you’re just not telling me.

EVE
I told you. I don’t know why.

ADAM
That doesn’t make sense.

EVE
Sue me!

ADAM
Is it the whole apple thing?

EVE
I don’t know, all right? Maybe. Probably. I don’t know.

ADAM
Maybe it comes with mortality. Emotional instability, I mean.

EVE
I just need some alone time right now. OK?

ADAM
OK.

(He gets up and starts leaving, then stops.)

Is there anything I can do?

EVE
Just leave me alone for one minute!

ADAM
OK.

(ADAM exits.

EVE sits down on the ground. In spite of her best attempts to stifle it, a single, ugly sob escapes. She holds the rest of her tears back, sniffs, clears her throat, wipes the moisture from her eyes, and pauses to collect herself.

ADAM enters.)

ADAM
Hey.

EVE
Go away.

ADAM
You know, I don’t feel good about leaving you alone like this.

EVE
Adam. You don’t know anything about women.

(ADAM thinks about that.)

ADAM
You’re right.

(He doesn’t move.)

EVE
Are you going to go?

ADAM
I don’t know. Should I?

EVE
I don’t know.


ADAM
(nervously)
I like you a lot, Eve. You know that?

EVE
Yeah.

ADAM
I don’t know if that helps any.

EVE
Yeah. Me neither.

(ADAM goes to hold her hand, then stops himself. She doesn’t notice.)

EVE
I mean, like you a lot, too, but…

ADAM
But what?

EVE
But… I don’t know.

ADAM
I’m not your type?

EVE
No, that’s not it. I don’t know.

ADAM
What’s wrong?

EVE
I just… If I wasn’t the only woman on Earth, would you still want me?

(He thinks.)

ADAM
That’s a good question.

EVE
(standing up)
I’m going.

ADAM
I mean, yes.

EVE
You’re awful, you know that?

ADAM
Really, I would!

EVE
Goodbye!

ADAM
I would! I just had to think about it for a second.

EVE
Yeah you did.

ADAM
Yeah!

EVE
Yeah.

ADAM
Hey. Out of the billions and billions of other women who might have been here, you’re not even allowing me a second to even consider any one of them?

EVE
Nope.

ADAM
Come on, Eve.

EVE
This isn’t going to work. Sorry, God, but this isn’t going to work.

ADAM
You’re beautiful.

EVE
Ha!

ADAM
And wonderful.

EVE
Shut up.

ADAM
Really. You are.

EVE
Shut up!

(She exits.)

ADAM
Fine. OK!
(Pause.)
You know, I’m glad you had the apple. Maybe I shouldn’t be. Maybe I’m not supposed to be. But I am. You really are beautiful. I never really saw how beautiful you are till… after.

(EVE re-enters. She stands there, looking at ADAM sitting on the other side of the stage.)

EVE
I don’t know if you’re just making all that up or if you really mean it. I want to think you really meant it.

ADAM
I did. I do.

(Silence.)

EVE
Who does that? “Don’t eat from the tree”, “go forth and be fruitful.” Who does that?

ADAM
Yeah, I don’t get it either.

EVE
It doesn’t make sense at all. At all. You’ve got more sense than that.

ADAM
Thanks.

EVE
I didn’t mean—OK, I’ve got more sense than that. Better?


ADAM
Better.

EVE
I just feel guilty… I don’t know.

ADAM
Sex?

EVE
Yeah.

ADAM
Yeah.

EVE
…Yeah.

(A pause; then they both start talking at the same time.)

ADAM
I was wondering—

EVE
What would you—

(They stop.)

EVE
You go first.

ADAM
No you.

EVE
Talk.

(ADAM struggles for a moment to work up the nerve to speak again.)

ADAM
Do you think I’m… attractive?

EVE
I guess so.

ADAM
Ouch.

EVE
I mean, yeah. Yes. I do.

ADAM
OK.

EVE
(putting her hand on his knee)
Really, I do.

ADAM
I believe you.

EVE
OK, good.

(A moment. EVE notices their position and moves away.)

EVE
It just feels so… base, you know? I mean, you are the only guy on Earth. It makes me feel, I don’t know—cheap maybe? Does that make sense?

ADAM
Yeah…
(He thinks about it.)
No, not really.

EVE
I mean, it’s so animalistic. I’m a girl and you’re a guy and we’re stuck here together, so we make babies.

ADAM
Right.

EVE
No romance. Purely physiological. Isn’t that gross? Ew. That’s gross. We’re gross.

ADAM
Well, when you put it that way...


EVE
We’re gross.

ADAM
OK, we’re gross.
(Pause.)
But I’d like to.

EVE
I know.

ADAM
You would too?

EVE
I didn’t say that. I just said I know.
(Beat.)
It’s weird. This whole wanting thing. I can’t decide how I feel about it.

ADAM
So you would?

EVE
Do what?

ADAM
Want to… you know, be the mother of all nations. That.

EVE
I didn’t say that. Stop putting words in my mouth.

ADAM
I’m not trying to put words in your mouth, I was just… curious.
(Beat.)
God told us to.

(Silence.)

EVE
You want a pet?

ADAM
(taken aback)
What?


EVE
Yeah. You know, a pet. A little animal. We could keep it around. Be nice to it. Play fetch.

ADAM
Oh. Why?

EVE
Just because.

ADAM
Okaay…

EVE
We don’t have to, I was just asking.

ADAM
Like, what kind of a pet—animal?

EVE
I don’t know.

ADAM
The big guys are off limits you know.

EVE
Right.

ADAM
Right. You saw that. We have our apples, a couple seconds later a lion is tearing off a gazelle’s leg. I don’t know about you, but I’m pretty fond of my legs.

EVE
(musing)
Isn’t that a funny word?

ADAM
What? Leg?

EVE
Well, that too.

ADAM
Which word?

EVE
Apple.

ADAM
Funny? I don’t see how it’s funny. How is “apple” funny?

EVE
I don’t know. Just listen to it. “Apple.” Apple apple apple apple.

ADAM
(getting annoyed)
Hey.

EVE
Apple.

ADAM
It’s a perfectly decent word.

EVE
Apple!

ADAM
Why is it all my words are stupid?

EVE
I didn’t say it was stupid, I just said it was funny.

ADAM
OK, sure, “apple” is funny.

EVE
You don’t have to agree with me.

ADAM
OK.

EVE
Stop it.

ADAM
Stop what?

EVE
Have you just been agreeing with everything I’ve been saying?

ADAM
I don’t know. Maybe.

EVE
Stop it!

ADAM
Maybe we just agree on a lot of things.

EVE
No.

ADAM
Maybe.

EVE
You’re just agreeing with everything I say and it’s ridiculous.

ADAM
All right, I’ll stop it.

(Beat.)

EVE
I’m sorry.

ADAM
Why?

EVE
Because I’m crazy.

ADAM
I don’t think so.

EVE
I am.

ADAM
I don’t think so.

EVE
You’re just trying to be nice.

ADAM
Well if I can’t agree with you and I can’t be nice what am I supposed to say?

(Eve thinks about this, then laughs.)
ADAM
What?

EVE
That’s funny.

ADAM
Apple!

(She laughs again.)

ADAM
Apple apple apple.

EVE
(laughing)
Stop it!

ADAM
Apple!

EVE
I can’t breathe!

ADAM
Aaaaappppppllllle!

(EVE laughs till she cries. She finally calms down, and then she takes a look at ADAM’s face and starts laughing again. He waits for it to end and it finally does. EVE takes a deep breath.]

EVE
Hey.

ADAM
What?

EVE
You know when you held my hand a little while ago?

ADAM
Yeah.

EVE
That was weird.

ADAM
Yeah. I know.

EVE
But I kinda liked it.

(ADAM looks at her. He holds her hand.)

EVE
I wish God was here.

ADAM
You miss Him?

EVE
Yeah.

ADAM
Me too.

EVE
Well, a little. I don’t know. I feel like I should. Maybe it’s just so recent it hasn’t really sunk in yet, you know?

ADAM
Yeah.

EVE
It doesn’t feel like He’s really… It feels like He’s still around.

ADAM
It does.

(They sit together. She leans her head against his shoulder.)

EVE
Are you scared?

ADAM
A little.

EVE
Me too.

(They think about this.)

ADAM
That’s OK.

(And it is. Lights down.)


5 comments:

Amy said...

Davey, this BRILLIANT. You are brilliant. Your grasp on the subtle inter-relationship interactions and cues is genius and clever. this skit/play is genius, if you ask me!

i am cooler b/c i am related to you...

Davey Morrison said...

Thanks! I am dang deeply honoured, British spelling of "honoured" and all, and likewise honoured that you visited my blog on your birthday. Happy birthday! I'm pretty sure I have a good seventy bonus points of happenin-ness because I am related to Amy Meldau-Morrison.

(Oh, and P.S. I got you a birthday present but didn't know when my parents mailed their Amy's Birthday Package, so yeah. I'll send it, or most likely forget to send it and just bring it out in a couple weeks with me.)

Carlos MaciĆ” said...

Once again... you ARE so brilliant! I so wish I could have stayed in Centennial Middle School longer to see that talent develop a little more. Please, keep me posted with your projects. If you need help with anything, let me know. Cheers!

Th. said...

.

I love it. I think the postEden period is much more interesting than many people give it credit for. (Here's my first chapter to an aborted novel project.)

Second reason I'm posting: I don't have your email. Check with your brother Steve. I emailed him. Have him forward it to you.

Davey Morrison said...

Thanks! I recently read the Plain & Precious Parts of the Fob Bible, and loved it. I need to get my greasy paws on the entire thing.